Chavurat Lamdeinu
Prayer - Study - Community
Special Cell Phone Call
| Bruce Stein Erev Rosh Hashanah 5769 September 29, 2008 Cell phone rings... Who would be calling me on Rosh Hashanah? Must be a reform Jew. Hello, I can’t talk now I’m giving a sermon. Do I know who you are? Should I? I didn’t catch what you said, you’re cell phone is breaking up. Could you spell your name? Yud..Hey…Vov…Hey? Did you say yud..hey..vov..hey? Really? Excuse me but I HAVE to take this call. Adonai, I’m glad you called because I am not sure how I did last year. I need some feedback. You want me to tell you what good I did last year? OK, first of all I got to the synagogue early almost every Shabbat and made coffee for the chavurah. Yes, it’s fair trade organic shade grown coffee. Have you been talking to Rabbi Gais? You don’t care that I make the coffee? But my coffee enables everyone to study and pray. You don’t care so much about prayer? Yes, I remember what Isaiah said you want from us. Yeah Amos too. And Jeremiah. Actually we’ve studied all the prophets this year. You want to know if I helped people? Let’s see…I take this elderly woman to temple every Friday evening. No, I am not talking about my wife. That’s more like it? Thanks, but I have to admit that sometimes she’s a little hard to take and I complain about her. You’re right Elohim, what should I expect, she IS Jewish. Shaddai, I have to admit I passed by a couple of homeless guys on the street in Manhattan without stopping to help them out. I put my hand in my pocket but it just froze there and I walked away. I didn’t think you’d like that one Yahweh. But how about kiva? Not kevah, kiva! It’s an organization that enables people to loan money to small businesses all over the world. Thanks ‘I am that I am”. Yes, I’ll increase the amounts I give to kiva. By the way I also loaned money to a friend to start a business. Maimonides said, the highest form of tzedaka… You know what he said. Who do you think taught him? Sorry yud hey vov hey, I should have known. So, el shaddai, all in all, how am I doing? How am I preserving the planet? How am I feeding the poor? How am I housing the homeless? How am I caring for the orphans? Shaddai, enough! I am only one person. How can I do all that? HOW CAN I NOT? Hang up phone. That wasn’t an easy call. I guess I fell short again this year. 5768 was not a great year for me. But like the Brooklyn Dodgers used to say, “wait till next year”. There’s always a next year. ISN’T THERE? |
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